7 Things to Buy Instead of a $10,000 Gold Apple Watch

Yesterday, Apple unveiled the release and pricing for its upcoming selection of wearable technology. This included showing off a leather-banded, 18 karat gold watch that surely does far more than tell the time.
Still, if you've got 10 large just hangin' around, it's good to know all the options available to you.
So here are some things that also cost $10,000.

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01
Captain Kangaroo's Conductor Hat

via Ebay

Don't check your watch to see if the train's on time, buy the hat of someone who probably never drove one!
02
350 Hawaiian Shirts!

via Ebay

Why buy ONE dumb ol' watch when you can get 350 dumb ol' shirts? Do the math!
03
Diamond-Studded, Dragon-Tiger, Boot-Cut, Distressed Jeans

via Key Closet

Even gold Apple Watch buyers have to put their hideous pants on one leg at a time.
04
Agent Smith's Sunglasses from The Matrix

via Ebay

If only there was a way to make Siri respond to "Mr. Anderson"...
05
A Stegosaurus Beanie Baby

via Ebay

I knew dinosaurs were rare, but this guy (creatively named "Steg") must be the last of his kind.
06
Serenity Pod Bed

via Dude I Want That

I think they made a typo. It should probably read "Claustrophobic Pod Nightmare."
07
203 Simpsons Tattoos

via Complex

All the REAL fans are getting them.
What's that?
You only have 197?
You must not like The Simpsons very much.